Tick. Time. Tick.

The Little Mermaid

2009-11-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

Ariel

Now, I would have cast myself in this role, but not very many people I know would appreciate me traipsing around in nothing but a seashell bra.

Played by:

Evan Rachel Wood

Young, blue-eyed, can sing, and not to mention that she could pull off the crazy red floating hair. TGF digital animation.

Prince Eric

Wouldn't Ariel and Prince Eric's kid have to have some SERIOUSLY blue eyes? Oh, wait. She did, ha!

Played by:

Leonardo DiCaprio
Yeah, let's have him fall in love with another redhead at sea. That always ends well!

Ursula the Seawitch

As Vanessa, of course, because anyone can put on a fat suit, but not everyone has the jet black hair and wicked purple stare.

Played by:

Katy Perry

I just really want to see her in a fat octopus suit!!!

Cinderella

2009-11-11T11:46:00.000-08:00

Cinderella

Cinderella was a really tough one to cast, mainly because, at first, the only person I could think of was Taylor Swift. However, I decided not to use her because I've always thought of Cinderella as the oldest of all the Disney princesses.

Played by:

Reese Witherspoon

This is a perfect choice because she has the delicate sweetness down, but she's not afraid to get her hands dirty either. Reese also solves the age issue because she's accomplished, but then, she's not exactly Grandma either. :)

Cinderella's Prince

This particular prince could probably be played by anyone tall, dark and handsome since he really has no discerning features, and his only talent is dancing...

Played by:

Alec Mazo

Generally unknown and only famous for being a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars. But he's kinda pretty. ha!

Evil Stepmother

Played by:

Meryl Streep

Thinking, of course, of her role in Devil Wears Prada where she WAS very much like the evil stepmother. Very cold performance.

Aladdin

2009-11-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

Aladdin

I can only think of one person who has the right kind of spirit to play someone so adventurous and impulsive...

Played by:

Matthew Bomer
I can't for the life of me find a decent picture that's more close up which shows what I'm talking about, but if you've ever seem the new USA show White Collar, you'll appreciate the attitude that makes Aladdin and Bomer so similar! (plus, I wouldn't mind seeing him as an elephant.)
Jasmine

Played by:

Cote de Pablo

Oddly enough standing in front of a Disney background in this picture. She's the very human embodiment of Princess Jasmine, isn't she?

Jafar

Played by:

Billy Bob Thornton

Because he seems like just the kind of creepy old guy who's into younger chicks that I was looking for.

Recasting Disney... just because!

2009-11-09T12:37:00.000-08:00

Should there ever be a real-life movie made based on these Disney films, Who would play these timeless characters?

Snow White
The youngest Disney princess, perfectly innocent and sweet as gooseberry pie.

Played by:

Pauley Perrette
Not what you pictured? She may not be typically viewed as sweet and innocent, but just look at their faces and tell me it wasn't meant to be!

Her Prince Charming

Played by:

Jesse Spencer
Ha, when I tried to think of a standard Prince Charming, this guy's face came to mind!

The Evil Queen

Played by:

Sela Ward

Otherwise known as Dr. House's Ex. She seems like she could play one hell of an evil queen.

(This will be an ongoing series, until I figure out something else interesting to write about! :)

Unnamed Haiku

2009-10-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

White apple bleeds red
Tablecloth tapestry spoiled
Only in my dream

2009-10-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

Take the time to do your makeup today. Or, if you're a guy, trim your sideburns, lose the uni-brow, shine your shoes.

It feels good to look good, savvy?

Bacon Scented Candles.

2009-09-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, we just made bacon scented candles. They REALLY smell like bacon. Or some other meat product very similar. It's kinda grossing me out because I am not a fan of bacon. Or many other kinds of meat. But soon, this will be over. :)Then we can move on to better smelling candles like blueberry and pumpkin pie and apple pie......!

Don't fall for a celebrity!

2009-09-04T04:36:00.000-07:00

So just about fifteen minutes ago I had a dream that I SO want to remember, so I figured I'd come out and write it down.

I was having a birthday party, and was opening gifts and such, and received a few things including twenty dollars of birthday money in ones. Suddenly Ville Valo from HIM walks in (all sauntering, and glorious and Finnish as he is) and he sits down at my table and we start talking. He hands me a book of relationship advice indicating that me and my beau need it or something like that ;-) lol.

Anyway, me and Mr. Valo get along splendidly and I put the book into my bag of gifts. All of his cordiality ends when he noticed that in the course of putting the book in the bag, the binding got ruined and he demanded that I pay him back for it! I refused to, and he got angry and stormed away, hopping on his motorcycle. I sat there for a minute and huffed about him giving me such a crappy book. Then it hits me *oh no!* he's leaving, so I get up and run out after him screaming "STOP!" over and over until he hears me over that wretched bike of his. And again, he walks over (all sauntering and glorious and Finnish as he is). He's still angry. I tell him that I will pay him half the price of the book AND he can make out with me.
Mr. Valo seems amused with this... and who can resist this look?

Did he take this offer? OH HELL YEAH. Lots of tongue and teeth pulling lips and God did we look good kissing. *snickers* Must have been an out of body experience because I was watching from the sidelines. (Just for all those girls who've been wondering, yes, his mouth *does* taste like an ashtray. I didn't care though! ;-)

So right about now my boyfriend comes walking over, and, shocked by this sight, starts walking away, upset. I holler after him, "It's okay, Bobby, it's Ville! How often does this happen?" After which, he and Ville became the best of friends, and he was okay with my making out with Ville periodically. And by periodically I mean ALL THE TIME. There were a few more times when Ville was upset and going to leave and I made a big deal about it and he stayed. I'm starting to get fuzzy on the details.

After he left the last time and I was sad because I might never see him again, my parents (who have been watching all of this *weird face*) inform me that all of my birthday money has disappeared.

EGAD!!!

So I search for my money starting where I left it, and I find a packet of paper there instead. On the paper, there are details of many things that Mr. Valo has stolen from my family, and pictures of him standing with it. Now I have a crushing guilt because I've been fooled by my beautiful gothic sex idol and now he stole everything. Even all of my birthday money. Which is the part that really angers me (since this is dream logic).

So I call him up and pretend to be calm about this, and he thinks this is interesting that I'm not freaking out on him. I tell him I wish I could see him one last time. (I did want to see him again, you must remember I had feelings for him, so I wasn't *all* sour about his taking everything. Because this is dream logic.)

So he comes, but doesn't bring any of the stolen goods. Since he's there, though, I forget all about it. He offers to let me come live with him, but proceeds to tell me that doing so wouldn't be in my best interest, and he only wants what's best for me, and I MUST NOT KNOW what's best for me because I called him back after that.

I call over my BF and have a very serious talk with him and he says it's okay to go live with Ville in his big castle-mansion in the clouds. :)

So I go out to tell Ville I'm going to live with him but he's already gone. And took something else. And I can't reach him on the phone.

THAT RAT BASTARD.

Regardless of all of this my boyfriend takes me back. Because he's wonderful. And apparently a doormat like none other. :) I love him.

-------------------------
Not so random lyric of the day?

Wicked Game
HIM (or Chris Isaak)

World was on fire, no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you
And I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you

No, I wanna fall in love
(this world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I wanna fall in love
(this world is only gonna break your heart)
..with you

(this world is only gonna break your heart)

What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you

No, I wanna fall in love
(this world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I wanna fall in love
(this world is only gonna break your heart)
..with you

World was on fire, no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
No, and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no

No, I wanna fall in love
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I wanna fall in love
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
..with you

(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I...
(This world is only gonna break your heart)

Nobody loves no one

<3

Again... I'm sorry.

2009-09-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

But your awesome rug TOTALLY looks like maggots!

I'm Sorry....

2009-08-24T14:50:00.001-07:00

But your beautiful cake looks like it has ants crawling all over it.

A Message for Lovers

2009-07-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

- Bob Marley

Oh...

2009-05-22T20:11:00.001-07:00

Have I mentioned about how much I LOVE my boyfriend lately? Hah! I do. Unconditionally and irrevocably.

Kris Allen is the American Idol! Somehow.

2009-05-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

Lots and lots of people are reeling from the surprising way the American Idol finale turned out last night. I mean... I was wrong about how it would turn out for the first time since the show started. That must be something. ;-)
There are people out there trying to rationalize it, "Adam Lambert's questionable sexuality," "Kris Allen is just such a sweet, good-looking down home country boy. He was more SAFE to vote for."
I don't want excuses... I just want to know who voted for him! lol
My mom kinda liked him, but she doesn't vote for anyone... other than that I haven't heard anyone but the judges praise him. Maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places?
Or maybe I was just judging too much on talent.
Who knows.

Anyway, Danny Gokey is still MY American Idol. lol

I wonder what my next obsession will be to write about on here?

American Idol Finale

2009-05-17T15:32:00.001-07:00

The American Idol finale is coming up this week, and I admit that I'm surprised at who's come up in the top two.

Who on God's green earth voted for Kris Allen? Really! The guy, while being better than most high school level musical performers, SHOULDN'T be in this competition! I'm furious, I thought the vanilla half-hearted performances by this guy wouldn't get him into the top twelve... I didn't even know who he was, I don't remember him at all from the previous shows until I was forced to look and listen the last few times and even then I didn't see anything memorable.
Putting this guy up against Adam Lambert is a sick joke. If you listen to them back to back.......... my god. They might as well just make the whole finale about Adam, and maybe give Kris one performance because he's so freakin' boring. But I suppose they'll have to be fair.

Last year, at least both contestants had a shot at winning. Both of the Davids were interesting and talented, but this year.... Adam's going to win. (Mind you, I'd rather have Danny Gokey over either of them, but seeing as how he got voted off last week, that's not possible. *sigh*)

I don't know.... I'd even prefer to have Allison Iraheta over Kris Allen because at least she was interesting. Red hair and all... Something about her voice bugged me though.

(Impossible) Challenge: Give me one reason why Kris Allen should win the contest this year.

<3
Voting for Adam even though he won't need my help.
(Have I mentioned how ridiculous this is?! lol)

Garrgh.

2009-05-04T08:51:00.000-07:00

Can't believe it's already a day and a half through my three days off work. This saddens me. :(:(:(

But Love Nanners make me happy. :-D

HAPPY MONDAY!

HAHAHA

2009-04-25T17:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know why this video is so funny.... it just is. :) I've been watching it repeatedly. It makes me happy, and you must be heartless if you don't at least smile at it!

Friggen adorable.

Trip Home

2009-04-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

Went back home for a weekend to enjoy my parents' wedding anniversary, and it was fun seeing (almost) all my favorite people in one place.... My family is just the weirdest bunch of people you'll ever meet, but every one of them is interesting, and every one of them is a good person. I feel blessed to come from such a good family.

As usual, it's tough to come home since I miss everyone so much. A weekend feels like such a tease. But at least coming home this time I have something to look forward to. I start work at Walmart next week. For a while, that will be new and interesting. :)

<3

Danny Gokey

2009-03-18T12:27:00.000-07:00

Danny is my pick for American Idol... I've watched his performances the closest over the last few weeks, and I have to say, they're the ones worth waiting for. Gokey and Lil Rounds are the two most promising contestants, which makes me mad because the random behind-the-scenes woman who's telling everybody who the top 4 will be this year (even though that's not possible to know yet) picked those two as top contestants. Everyone will be suspicious when they make it. *shrugs* Oh well.

Badass Bunny

2009-03-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

Seriously... I love this rabbit here. lol

Associated Content

2009-03-05T14:15:00.000-08:00

I have a spanking new account on Associated Content, and I plan to use the site often, so go ahead and check it out. :)

Josiah Leming Rises Again

I've been lazy again!

2009-02-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

Surprise! But I'll get back to the American Idol posting on Wednesday. Mark your calendar. ;-)
Personal life, what's new with me? Not much. Still no job, still not living where I wanna, or getting my regular caffeine high like I used to... Still don't see anyone but Bob, or leave the house. Still feel kinda fugly, too.
Yet I'm happier than I have been in months. Why? I get to go home! For a week anyway... And I got a pretty hair cut! Yay!
And I'm sure there will be Mountain Dew at home... that would be perfect. :-D

American Idol, Week 2

2009-01-25T13:35:00.000-08:00

Not much to say in the way of describing the week in general, but it was a good week! Promising contestants:

Joanna Pacitti - Previously signed, amazingly talented, and if America doesn't get jealous of her, she's definitely top 5 at least. Joanna sang the best version of "We Belong" by Pat Benatar I've heard so far, granted that doesn't take much!

Brent Keith - Young, blond country rocker, wholesome, with an amazing voice. Not sure what's going to happen with him, but I was super impressed.

Kai Kalama - Amazing. I mean AMAZING voice, I love this guy's voice... Oh, and did I mention his voice is great too? Deep, soulful, yet natural... He's going to be around for a long time. Oh, and of course everyone loves him because he's good looking, has crazy hair (who doesn't like a guy with crazy hair?) and he's all sweet-like, taking care of his mother. And single. Ladies, c'mon.

Leneshe Young - Sang a song that she wrote and, my god, it actually got her through. I can only remember one person who sang their own song and got in and that was Josiah Lemming. Who is actually not doing so bad, he has an album out and everything... just saying. But yes, this girl is amazing too, and she has one of "those" backgrounds, the living on the streets, supported by a single mother... America LOVES those stories. She'll be just fine.

Journals

2009-01-24T15:33:00.000-08:00

Journals are mildly frustrating. I have about a million unfinished journals, and I have no idea why it's so hard to just keep up with one. I mean, to forget that you have a journal until you see it sitting on your shelf a year later, that's forgivable. But knowing full-well that you already have a journal and then buying a new one and starting over... it's a sickness, really. Probably why none of my Sims die of natural causes, too... I just can't help starting new families. !

Threadless

2009-01-19T13:41:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a really neat idea for a tee shirt design, but didn't know how to bring it to life? Or are you an artistic, creative person with an eye for design and looking to make a little bit of extra cash? If either of these is true you may think of looking into tee shirt design at Threadless.
Threadless.com was a website stared in November 2000 by Jacob Nickell and Joshua Davis. These two young men who had founded the site while working full time jobs and attending college were inspired to create the website after having entered and won a tee shirt design contest on what used to be Dreamless.org, a popular forum site at the time. It took two years to get the website to the point where it was easy to use, and anything resembling what it is today.
Their first tee shirt design contest of their own was run from Dreamless, rather than their own site, and they used the profits from selling the winner's tee shirt to fund more contests. Only in 2002 could Jacob and Joshua begin giving compensation for the winning designs, but in 2003, this proved to be too much for them, with the addition of their busy schedules, and they had to make a decision: would they end the website and design contests, or would they quit their jobs and devote all of their energy to making the site greater?
Since the website is flourishing today, we know that they did decide to devote themselves to its good. Threadless has become an icon in the world of eCommerce, and, in my opinion, one of the best design contests online. The success of the website is obvious when you look at the increase in rewards for winning designs. In 2002, the big prize was $100 and a few free copies of their winning shirt. In 2007, the cash payout was up to $2,000!
Now, even if you're not all that creative, they do have a smaller contest for anyone with a sharp wit. It's possible to enter a slogan contest to create funny tee shirts. You know the ones, "Procrastinators of the world unite! Tomorrow." Or, if your not even inclined towards writing slogans, you can simply purchase a tee or ten from their unbelievably large selection of winning designs.

Threadless.com

Snow.

2009-01-18T13:23:00.000-08:00

Gross. I'm so sick of it. And it's not even that I hate snow. I hate ice and when snow gets all compacted under major traffic areas, so easy to slip on. And I also hate that our lovely apartment building has slick tiles outside the entrance and no rug to protect you from the slipperiness. It's a miracle that I've only fallen once this year. :) But snow itself is beautiful, and the landscape gets pretty when it does snow. And it's snowing, yet again. *rolls eyes*

American Idol

2009-01-16T16:50:00.000-08:00

Because EVERYONE else is already talking about it.

I've watched A.I. for the last seven seasons, enjoying every second of the suspense it creates. And why not? I love to sing... granted I can't do it anymore because I live in an apartment WITH someone else who works from home, so even if I wasn't worried about the neighbors, he's here all the time. I'm slowly going insane from the lack of musical release.
I'm excited about this year... I've seen a couple of really good ones in the cities they've visited. I started writing down their names on the second day, so to the awesome performers of Episode 1, sorry, you aren't recorded. But the really, really good/notable ones from the second episode were as follows(and my apologies for any spelling mistakes on names):

Casey Carlson - Very talented, and the only to audition so far that I've pinned for top 10 (My predictions are 90% correct most of the time ;-). She'll probably fall into the country category once she finds her niche in the show. It's hard for a sweet small-town girl with a big voice to do anything but on this show.

Danny Gorky (Gokey) - Lots of soul-men from Kansas City, Danny here is no different, though the feeling in his rendition of I Heard it Through the Grapevine was fueled by the very recent loss of his wife (during heart surgery). I have no doubt that the love for his wife reigning through his craft will get him to the top 20... Unless he buckles under the pressure. Which would really suck because I like him. :)

Michael Castro - Everyone's talking about Jason's brother and the sibling rivalry that caused him to try out for A.I. I don't believe it. Look at those two. I don't think they could harbor an ounce of hate between the both of them. Friendly competition maybe. But he's good, Michael. If he can sound a little more contemporary than his brother, then perhaps he could make it as far as the top ten, but I'm not hopeful. The judges WILL compare him to his brother and he sounds so much like him I don't think he'll be seen as anything more than a copycat with pink hair rather than dreads. You better practice, boy.

Matt Breitzki - Macho Man. He was working as a welder until his audition, where his secret love of singing spring-boarded him through the audition. I do admit, he's cute, and I like his voice, but... I don't know if he's going to make it to the top 20. I just don't know.

Other good ones:

Von Smith
Jessica Page Fernon
India Morrison
Anoop Dawg :) Dunno what to say about that one, really.
Asa Barnes

Become My Follower...

2009-01-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

I offer you free virtual cookies and punch if you add me and follow me! Who, in their right mind, would refuse free virtual cookies and punch?

VOTE FOR ME!

All you have to do is click the "Follow this Blog" link to the right.

Feedjit.

2009-01-15T14:23:00.000-08:00

Interesting concept. I used to have a visitor map on my Myspace profile but it disappeared because whoever made it didn't pay their bills and got rid of their website. Made me mad, too, I had a few thousand dots on that map. (Dots being visitors to the page, obviously.) So now I got Feedjit. If you're reading my blog, I'll know because my trusty Feedjit will tell me. Maybe not your name, just whatever city you're in. All it's for is to tell me what the traffic on my blog is like. Probably not as many hits as my Myspace, but... Well... there's less pictures here. I could always fix that, of course.

But I wouldn't want to scare the little children.

Blog vacation over, my ass.

2009-01-09T23:11:00.000-08:00

Ugh. I have no ambition to write in this thing. Nobody gives me feedback anymore. Not even the boyfriend, who is currently behind me and making me a little uncomfortable to write about him. I have an interview next Tuesday. FUUUUN Stuff.

Newsflash

2008-12-31T21:01:00.001-08:00

I'm not going anywhere.

Blog Vacation Over.

2008-12-12T13:17:00.000-08:00

Alright, back to blogging. I forgot that my bf wasn't the only reason I blogged, It's also because it's kinda my diary, and diaries have always helped to keep me sane. :) Well... I believe I've already said that I moved in with Bob, that I didn't have a job at the time, that I missed my family and friends. Figured I'd recap just in case I missed anything before. Did I mention I like living with this guy. It's still true. It still somehow surprises me when I realize that he's not going anywhere. That I don't HAVE to savor every moment with him because he'll be leaving next Sunday. I still do savor every second, but just... not for that reason. :) But wish me luck on the job search because funds are getting low! And help out however you can. ;-) lol

Coulee Region Online

2008-11-25T12:17:00.000-08:00

CouleeRegionOnline.com

If you are from, or have any interest in, the area of the state in which I was just living, for about a year, or if you'd like to meet some new people, check out this website. It's basically all about the Coulee Region, obviously, and it's a place for people from the area to gather over the net and talk about local (and global) issues.
So stop in and say hi to Michelle, the site's creator, who will not bite (unless requested). :)

I'm home.

2008-11-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

So I quit my job on the 17th and moved to Eau Claire to live with Robert. It's been a week so far, and I'm enjoying myself. :) With the exception of the apartment being about 85 degrees all the time for god knows what reason. *shrugs* Can't imagine how it'll be in the summer.
But i like this town so far, and things are fine money-wise right now and speaking of that I have an interview at a store in the mall next Wednesday, which is my big moving day, when my bed and TV and all those shiny things are coming up here. So I'm going from an interview down to La Crosse and picking up my stuff.
Still haven't gotten used to the lack of privacy. Not that it's bad... in fact I like it. It's just... weird. Life is good.

I'd give anything...

2008-11-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

Not to have to go back there tomorrow. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I despise who this job has turned me into. And it seems like everything that I do to make it better I'm not allowed to do, or they change it or it disagrees with what I think is right. At this point I keep thinking to myself that anything would be better than this... I know it's not true, and compared to most of the world I'm spoiled rotten. But it just breaks me. I mean, how can I look at being broke and job hunting for lame jobs as being more appealing than going to answer phone calls tomorrow? I know that I'm supposed to hang on until the 19th of next month, and that if I do, things should work out financially (in theory of course) but god... This place is killing me. These customers are killing me and the rules are killing me and the lack of responsibility in the upper management is killing me. The attitudes of the other employees are like diseases. I know there are a couple of good people there, but the majority, it's like they're either soul-less or downright angry because they're in the same situation but have more pressing financial needs so they can't just walk out.
The thought of leaving gives me so much joy.

2008-11-02T00:01:00.001-07:00

Getting to know me. 25 questions!

1. Where were you 3 hours ago? 3 hours ago... Here.

2. Who are you in love with? Mr. Robert

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon? No, but I DID try Playdoh once, and I can still taste it. Blagh.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? A few things... My shirt, my robe, a towel, and some pillows.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall? Umm... went to Sears with the bf last weekend. If that counts, ya know, cause it IS in the mall.

6. Are you wearing socks right now? Yeah, for once because my feet were cold earlier.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000? Don\'t have a car.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town? Like I said, don\'t have a car, don\'t drive.... but I actually don\'t remember the last time I left this area. Umm... I suppose it was when I went back home for Erica\'s wedding. Sad, that was in May.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Nope.

10. Are you hot? FTW.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? *sips on a Sun Drop*

12. What are you wearing right now? A teeshirt and jeans. My new jeans, which are uber comfy but a bit too big.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? *sigh*

14. Last food that you ate? Sour Patch Kids...

15. Where were you last week at this time? At this time last week I believe I was here watching a movie with Robert.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Yep. Zee pants I have on.

17. When is the last time you ran? Just yesterday when I decided Phil the cat looked too comfy and wanted to scare the crap out of him. :)

18. What's the last sporting event you watched? Football a few weeks ago. Not happily, but I did watch it.

19. What is your favorite animal? Shrew.

20. Your dream vacation? Hm. i don\'t really have one. I think at this point I just want to go on a long road trip with someone I love spending time with.

21. Last person's house you were in? My parents\' house.

22. Worst injury you've ever had? My worst injuries have been pathetic. A sprained ankle when I was five and a split lip at about the same age.

23. Have you been in love? Yep.

24. Do you miss anyone right now? Yeh, a lot of people... :-(

25. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Really, it\'s different with everyone. I just have to pick up on what works for whomever.

Find this survey and others at www.mycodesplace.com

Well....

2008-10-26T17:03:00.000-07:00

He's left again... :) I'm not so upset about it this time for some reason. It still sucks, and it seems like every time he's down here it goes faster and faster. But as I've said before... Soon (not soon enough) I won't have to deal with this anymore.

<3

:(

2008-10-20T20:22:00.001-07:00

I hate wishing that time would go by. Not only is it pointless, but I know that my young age isn't going to last forever, and that someday I'm going to look back and want to strangle myself because I'll consider it taking this time for granted. But I'm seriously miserable right now. And it's more than the nasty cold. This job... I cannot go ten minutes without remembering that I have to go back there. And no amount of positive thinking is going to make these people nicer to me, and therefore make the job more bearable, because I'm their enemy. A person who is holding them back from their money. Not to mention that I can't stand being on the phone to begin with. Unless it's with someone that I care about or feel comfortable talking to. Friends are okay, Robert... I love talking to him, my parents, sure.... extended family, it starts getting a bit more uncomfortable, but to call a stranger. I despise it. I fear it. What the hell was I thinking signing up for this?
What sucks more is that I don't know if a different job is going to be better... or if this is really just that horrible of a job. That's really a horrible thought though. What if the rest of my life is going to be this bad? I always thought of myself as an impenetrably positive person, but this place has proven me wrong. I don't dare tell anyone to cheer up anymore. They're in the same hell as me. At least that's what I assume. I'm sick of complaining about it and I thought I was done, but once again, I was wrong.

Hey, at least I don't cut myself anymore. That's something.

Ugh.

2008-10-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

You know you've seen them... America's Funniest Videos, America's Funniest Home Videos, Country Fried Home Videos.... You don't want to admit it, but you've seen them. And isn't there a segment in each of those shows devoted to wedding parties falling into pools? So why would you have your wedding by a pool? WHY?

There's no excuse for this. :)

A distraction.

2008-10-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

Because I despise this time right now. Right after he leaves. One part of me wants to pretend that he was never here because it makes the present emotion seem invalid then fade, but.... this is impossible with Paul the Walrus staring at me and the huge vase of flowers on the shelf and the cell phone he helped me buy sitting on the bed... I think you get the idea. Anyone who has a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband who isn't around all the time knows exactly what I'm talking about.
OH. And not to mention the fact that he redid my blog layout for me really quick this afternoon... I like it... :) Just look at that lovable porcupine! I shall call him... Steve. After Steven Wilson of Porcupine Tree.

You have to remind yourself that no matter how hard you cry it's still going to be two weeks before you see them again. Sometimes you just can't stop.

As I said about two minutes ago...

2008-10-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have one hand... so I don't feel like typing at the moment, soooooo.....
LYRIC!

Keane - Can't Stop Now

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here dithering around
Though I know I said I'd wait around till you need me
But I have to go, I hate to let you down
But I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
I'm lonely
And I'm too tired to talk

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here withering away
Though I know I said I wouldn't leave you behind
But I have to go, it breaks my heart to say

That I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
I'm lonely
And I'm too tired to talk

To no one back home
I've got troubles of my own
And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now

And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now
For no one

The motion keeps my heart running

Thwarted.

2008-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend's exercising and the microwave's busy, so I can't do either of the things I want to right now. So I may as well write something. Carnation Instant Breakfast is good stuff. Buy some. Drink it. It tastes like the milk that's left after you eat a bowl of cocoa puffs.... yum. Instead, I'm drinking water right now. Why? Because it's bottled. I'm a sucker for the convenience of a reclosable bottle. RAWK. Apparently I just made up a word. Reclosable. The computer is telling me it's not a word. W/E.

To the ex, in a fit.

2008-10-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

You asshole. What right did you have to turn me into someone suspicious, secretly suffering any time he mentions another woman past, present or future? I don't deserve this paranoia. I hate feeling like he's going to leave me at any second and it's your fault. That's exactly what you wanted to hear, too. I blame you.

Oh yeah.

2008-10-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

It's time for a blog makeover. After fifty posts I deserve a new look to celebrate. ;-) But for the time being, since I can't figure out how to do what I want right now, I'll pick something basic and wait for whats-his-name to get down here so he can help me with it. I'm not totally helpless when it comes to this stuff, but... some things just escape me.

So far removed.

2008-10-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

I forgot how nice it is to have more than one person to talk to in this life. Another perspective, another person to give attention, go figure. Like a nice reminder that I can get a different kind of attention than the one that I thought I was craving. Not that that means I don't want more attention from a certain someone, but.... I don't feel so empty anymore since Friday night. *shrugs* Friends are good, you know? ;-)

Be back soon! <3<3<3<3
Crystal

Lyric:
Maroon 5, Sunday Morning

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Blaaaaargh.

2008-10-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

vfy ssn. cci wanting to know about mb charge on bill...............oops. I'm not at work. I'm at home, getting grossed out by the greasiest canned hash I've ever had in my life. I think I'm done with it.
Anyhow... I have a cat sitting in my window... it's been a while since that's happened. I think it's a sign of good things to come. Don't ask how I've come to that conclusion, and don't send the crazy police after me for it. But it just looks so peaceful.
I was going to write about this horrible dream that I had the other night. But after sitting here trying to think of different ways to describe it, the terribleness of it convinced me to let myself forget it. *shrug* So that's what I'm going to do.

Lyric of the Day:

She was divinity's creature
That kissed in cold mirrors
A Queen of Snow
Far beyond compare
Lips attuned to symmetry
Sought Her everywhere
Dark liqoured eyes
An Arabian nightmare...

"Urge." That's Kwik Trip for "Yum."

2008-09-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

Writing a blog and talking on a headset. Ick. I feel like a.... I don't even know what. Blame Canada, that's what I say. So..... AHHH. And IM'ing the person I'm talking to on the phone. :) Like omg. Hm. Someone should buy me a penguin. That's what I think.

Speaking of buying me things.... My boyfriend totally bought me a million fake flowers. Nice fake flowers. Of my favorite kind of flower.... This.... makes me more than just a little happy. This makes me.... uber1337ful. When did I start using four dots....?

TC

... :-) ...

2008-09-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

The only thought that seems to make me happy anymore is that one of these days he won't have to go away for three weeks. He'll just be there. All the time. I can't wait until I get the chance to get sick of him. :)

Morcupine.

2008-09-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

Alright. So the last blog no go so well. And if not writing about what I wrote then erased, I'm not sure what to put in here. Umm... I'm skipping breakfast today, like I do every day because a) there's no milk here that's good, so I'll have to buy some later on this weekend, so I can't have cereal, b) even though I wake up at 9:30 and leave around noon I never seem to have time for it. And I don't do jack in the morning. *shrugs* Bad habits, I guess. So I'm chowing down on leftover skittles as if that's going to help out with this hunger thing that I've got going on here. No time to make something for lunch quick, in fact, if I was really responsible I might be walking out the door right now to catch the bus and go to work. but I'd rather spend a paranoid ten minutes in here than a relaxed ten minutes out in the heat at the bus stop with Randomcreep 2.0 any day.

Oh. And I love my boyfriend! Yaaaaaaaay! (Are ya happy? You got a mention.)
:)
Lyric of the day anyone?

Weezer-Perfect Situation

Get your hands off the girl,
Can't you see that she belongs to me?
And I don't appreciate this excess company.
Though I can't satisfy all the needs she has
And so she starts to wonder...
Can you blame her?

Without the internet...

2008-09-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

Life at the new place is very dull... I'm not a fan of watching TV really, but since I have my TV there, and not the computer or any good books I haven't read yet, I've been watching a lot of it. Mainly What Not To Wear... I like that show though... so it's not all bad. But when you find yourself watching the weather channel, now in HD believe it or not, on repeat..... It's time to get a new hobby. Not that I'd be able to do anything because none of my stuff is really at this new place. At least not my hobby crap. But yeah... other than the annoying lack of stuff there, things are going well at the new house... And I found out I don't have to work weekends so things are slightly more bearable at work... Life is good right now.

Bored...

2008-08-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

So I'm just sitting here. Ran out of things to look for online... feeling particularly lazy, otherwise I'd like... go clean my room or something. So I figured I'd post in here. Why not?

Oh by the way, I threw my playlist on here too. :) It's down on the bottom of the page.

Since I have nothing really new to say about my life right now...

Things I never knew about Sting:

He's English.
-Jeez, that's so basic, you'd think I would have known. And anyway, it follows that I like his music, so of COURSE he's English. ;-)

He's called Sting because of a black and yellow striped sweater he once wore.
-I expected a something a little deeper...

His son Joe is the lead singer and bass player of the band Fiction Plane.
-As well as other bands, but this interests me because I happen to know and enjoy one of Fiction Plane's songs, "Two Sisters." Granted, it's the only song I've heard of theirs... I may have to remedy that situation.

And much, much more. If ever get into this situation where I want to write something in here, but I'm not sure what, I may just do the same thing... Like things I never knew about Toby Keith. Or things I never knew about Elton John. lol... whatever. Take care lovelies.

rambling again

2008-08-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

Shrill cry, ten minutes, I'll be going soon, talk about something else, conversation switch, feeling lonely before I hit the ditch. Scratch my face, pay no attention to the snow, breaking the silence with a painful sigh, tomorrow I'll be whole but my anxiety does grow. Try to imagine, can't picture it now, my senses are tired, I want a way out. Don't let me down. Misguided, mistaken self, unguarded, soft hearted, not willing to let any part in. Shrill cry, ten seconds, goodbye.

<3

Read me.

2008-08-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's been a little while since I've written anything worth reading in here... let's see... let me start by saying that I finally dislike my job. It only took starting to do what I'm actually being paid to do to get that yeasty dislike to grow. I finally understand why it's an accomplishment to make it a year at this company. Customers can be vicious, ya know? And they are... granted some of them are really sweet... like the ridiculous southern flirt that I got today who said, "They say that crystals are high in value, and you have lived up to your name today." Cheesy, but it made me laugh.
Let's see... what is going on with the S.O. lately... Still the same one... hoping it'll be the same one for a long time... because I like him. Duh. *stares blankly into space for about five minutes* Mhmm... :) Not many people can make me smile almost every time I'm thinking about them. Hell, I don't even really mind it when he calls me Dear... you know... as long as it's kept to a minimum. I love him. Indeed. No ...plans... though. Hehe.

Just a bit of shameless self promotion... I've been updating my playlist on MY MYSPACE PAGE routinely, so check it out.

So I'm thisclose to having a place to live lined up for after my folks take off... Hoping to get that all figured out by the end of next week. And even after they leave, my brother will still be hanging around this town for a while, so I won't be entirely alone. And then Robert's close... never close enough though... ;) heh.
Yeah... that's the main stuff going on in my life right now...
As I write this I'm realizing how much God has fallen out of my daily thoughts... that can't be good... I hate realizing that, it makes one feel crapish. Anyway. I'll try to post back here as soon as something comes up for me to write about. If not... I'll be back again SOMETIME Lovelies... :) Take care.

<3<3<3
Crystal

2008-08-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

Good song, look it up.

Eddie Vedder - Guaranteed

On bended knee is no way to be free
lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
that all my destinations will accept the one that's me
so I can breath

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
half their lives they say goodnight to wive's they'll never know
got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
they think of me and my wandering
but I'm never what they thought
got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
underneath my being is a road that disappeared
late at night I hear the trees
they're singing with the dead
overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
consider me a satellite for ever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
guaranteed...

Uhhhhhhm...magicbeansauce.

2008-07-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

I can has update?

But I don't know what to write about. I'm on the phone with Robert. He's still cool. My job is still alright. I still have a place to live. Maybe not for long, but still. (The hamster dance song is annoying.) So... there really isn't much to update on. Um. Umumumum... OH yeah, I could talk about my throat cancer... but that's just icky. And not cancerous. Plus it's gone now so it's a non-issue. Until it comes back! *dun. dun. DUNNN!* Bogus. Soooooo... Random lyric?

Brad Paisley/Allison Krauss - Whiskey Lullaby

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

Jorb!

2008-06-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hurrah! The end of the first week of training, and I don't hate my job yet. ;) That's always a good sign! But, um... really, it's not bad at all, since they're nice and relaxed during training and everything's moving rather smoothly learning-wise... I'm in with a training group of interesting and totally agreeable people, so... that makes things easier. I haven't got anything bad to say about APAC so far, so either this is just the perfect situation for me, or they're putting up an excellent front. In either case, I won't complain since it got me a free mug. lol

Random Lyric of the Day

2008-06-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sinking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Let's turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?

2008-06-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

Whoa.

2008-06-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

What was up with me last night..? Too much love for my taste. lol... bah. humbug. Nah... I don't know... but, umm... yeah, I'm getting all nervous about my job thing tomorrow... Oh, I'm sure it'll go fine, but. I need to worry for my own sake. :) I just added a million more songs to my playlist today, so... once again, if you haven't been to my myspace page yet... **VISIT IT NOW** and listen to my music. Because there's probably no better way to get to know me than through my music. I think that's pretty much the same with everyone.

:D

Fuck Thanksgiving.

2008-06-23T23:26:00.000-07:00

Because, for one, I hate that there's turkey leftover for a month after that and then there's Christmas, where, no doubt, there will be turkey for another month.
And TWO.
Because I hate that people rarely talk about what they are thankful for until that one or two month span at the end of the year that we in the business like to call The Holidays. Here's my list of what I'm thankful for:

- I'm thankful to have the parents I have. Because even though they're not even close to perfect, they can laugh with me, in fact, I got most of my sense of humor from my dad. And the media, but that's beside the point. I like my parents. So sue me. They're still taking care of me, almost without complaining, too, even after I should have been out of the house a year or two ago.
- I'm thankful for my brother. My brother rocks! We used to fight all the time as kids. Viciously, too... but after he was gone doing that thing they call "growing up" for a year, during which time I barely saw him, I learned to appreciate his oddness the way I appreciate everyone else's. Plus, now that he has his license back, I get to use him as a taxi.
- I'm thankful for Robert. I've only known him a couple of months, but... yeah. I guess he's alright. (Quack?) Okay, he's awesome. I accused him of being awesome the first time I saw him and I stand by that accusation. I could list off all the reasons why I think he's awesome, but that might take up this whole entry because by the time I finish describing it, I'll be SO tired of typing that I'll quit. And that's no fun. So instead I'll just say... umm... he's awesome because he puts up with my ridiculous silences on the phone. Because he motivates me with his rockin' logic, and because somehow he managed to steal my heart, which, for the longest time, I doubted the existence of, even though I really, REALLY didn't want anyone to take it.
- To avoid the tendency that I have, as a Christian, to turn everything that I write into an advertisement for God by tying all my thoughts together at the end and thanking God for all of the above... giving the credit so to speak... I'll put Him here in the middle, lol. God rocks. I'm nothing without Him, and yeah, I'm not too into myself to admit that. I'm thankful that Jesus saved me from Hell... Who wouldn't be?
- I'm thankful for the place that I live. This town really isn't all that bad. Everything is so dreadfully convenient in location. Two Walmarts? An actual downtown area that's more interesting than three stores in one building that's more than seventy years old? It doesn't get better than that. And yet... it's still pretty safe to walk the streets at night. Oh... plus it's gorgeous.
- Counting my chickens before they hatch: I'm thankful for my job. Or at least for the chance to have a job, lol. Because without it, chances are, I'd be heading back to Kenosha and leaving this awesome part of the state, as well as my awesome boyfriend who lives even farther north in a nicer town that this. At least it's nicer in my opinion thus far.
- I'm also thankful for you. Even though I don't know who you are... the fact that you're reading this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside and yeah... makes me feel slightly famous in a way I may never be. But that has yet to be determined.
- I'm thankful that I have all of my body parts assembled in a relatively easy to use fashion. I like my body the way it is at the moment, and if it never changed... I'd be one happy duckling. But I know it will... for the "healthier" or the sicklier (with health being less likely?). And I guess I'm fine with that. I'll have to be. Oh, and excuse the Pirates reference. Thanks.

*sigh*... I dunno exactly what brought this all on... I was going to take a shower a half hour ago... but I hung up the phone and got this sudden urge to tell everyone that my life isn't so lame right now... in fact, it's going swimmingly. This will all change in about two or three months, when my roof disappears from over me, but... I'll cross those bridges when I come to them, and hopefully burn them behind me at a safe distance.

Take care... :)

Alright!

2008-06-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

It is now time to stop procrastinating and actually update my blog. I mean... c'mon. I've been here for like... two weeks already and said absolutely nothing! So I'm gearing up to... oh shit. I forgot about that thing that I'm supposed to be doing right now. I'll explain in about two hours. Which will be about two seconds for you. BYE!

*four hour gap here*

Okay! Longer than I thought! So, umm, where was I? Ahh, my money-making scheme. Yesss... No. But it's money. I'm doing a little tiny bit of data-entry work for a woman in town that has a website, but has only a little time to work on it. And THAT's what I abandoned you for.
Aside from that... I GOT A JOB! Holy BUKKITS! Yeah... I got hired at APAC, which is a call center. In case you didn't know. Which I'm betting you didn't. Ha! But, umm... mhmm. I think I'll like it. I can handle angry people. :)
Let's see... If you haven't been to my MySpace page lately, I've added a Project Playlist thing on there with all the best songs ever on it. I'm much too proud of my playlist, I know.

Random lyric of the day:

Fix You by Coldplay

"And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth"

And to leave off this post... the most ridiculous picture I've seen in a long time.

On the road again...

2008-05-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving. Forever. Okay, maybe not forever, but for a few weeks. Going to hang around with some family and friends and do a wedding and all THAT... You know, the usual. Now I'm just not making any sense... but w/e. You'll survive. And so will I. I will survive. Yeah, as long as I know how to....... mhmm.
Soooo... I'll be arising somewhere around 6:30 or 7:00 tomorrow morning, half dead since I did the same today. grrrr... but hey... Bachelorette party tomorrow *whistles* should be fun. :-D

!!!

Lyric of the day:
Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful of Sunshine

There's a place that I go
That nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home
And there's no more lies
And darkness is light
And nobody cries
There's only butterflies

2008-05-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

I figured I may as well write something since I'm in a pleasant mood. That's something this blog is SERIOUSLY lacking... I mean, I'm one of the smiliest people you know, but would you guess that by the entries in here? I think not! So since I'm in a chipper mood right now... yeah. Repetitive, much?!
But what to write about, hm? I really got nothing, as usual, but... well. Robert's supposed to come down tomorrow. *big smile* So I'm all twitterpated about that. (And yes, that's a real word, look it up!)
So life is good. OH. Plus I have a great song running through my head right now. :D Jack Johnson "Sitting Waiting Wishing." That'll put me in a good mood usually.

!!!

Random lyric of the day to describe my mood:
Porcupine Tree - Stranger by the Minute

Strange as I seem
I'm getting stranger by the minute
Look in my dreams
They're getting stranger by the minute

A crap-ass, lame-sauce, but totally honest poem that you're never to read. You understand? ;-) lol

2008-05-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

I've never been more afraid to say what I feel,
I feel like a failure, post failure,
as I refuse to admit what is real,
As much as I thought I had felt it before,
I know I was wrong because I feel so much more,
To lose you right now would tear me apart,
So I'll keep you somehow close to my heart,
I want to tell you and hope you believe me,
But first hold me close and say you won't leave me.

Bawk.....

2008-05-10T18:40:00.000-07:00

Yeeeeeah. I wrote a poem... but I've come to realize something. There's no way it's going on here yet. Some other day, perhaps, when I am feeling more brave. :) We'll see. I mean, I don't even really like the poem for what it is because it's so... rhymey. Seems juvenile to me. But, umm... I do like what it says. The feeling in it is absolutely real... It's just not time to be read. You never know... the truth can screw things up sometimes.

TC/GB

The Eume... we? wii? oui? Eumeoui.

2008-05-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

The state of the Eumeus is... f*cking awesome.
I had the best weekend I've had for a long, long time. 24 hours of Robert. That's how a first date should be. ;-p

In other news... I'm still waiting to hear back from Payless. They said the would probably call Friday, but they didn't. Doesn't worry me though, because they did that last week, too, and still got around to calling the following Tuesday with good news. I know they're swamped with stuff to do, so... It's forgivable. :)
I'm going in on Friday to get my bridesmaid dress altered, which has been put off like you wouldn't believe, so I'll be relieved to get that done.
Then next month there's the family reunion, which goes on here in La Crosse, which means that a whole bunch of my mom's side of the family is coming. :) Yayz! I miss them. My aunt Carrie and uncle Bill, plus their four kids will be staying here, and possibly one of my other cousins and her boyfriend will be with them. In my tiny house? I guess it's possible. :D

:):):)
Life is good.

The Eumeus

2008-04-25T15:23:00.000-07:00

I... don't even know what to feel anymore... I mean, I could tell you what I don't feel and it might be easier. And I could say what I'm thinking, but... what good is a thought without a feeling attached? I think I'll just start writing about some junk and see what comes out.

I thought seriously about removing the last two posts in here, or writing over them or something, since I haven't figured out if you can delete whole posts or not... I don't think you can. But that person... this Randy... Did something horrible to me. He had no right to do it, and part of me thinks he didn't want to... But maybe he did. Maybe it was a plan all along. Something from a "How to be Evil" book. On the other hand, if that was the case he could have waited a little longer to make it perfectly devastating... SO. As you can tell, we broke up, if you can call it that because now it seems like there was nothing to break up in the first place, even though it felt like it. And isn't that just it? It's like my memories of our conversations and being with each other are evaporating. Every time I think about something that he said to me... something sweet or revealing, I have to remember that it was bullshit and then it disappears. Part of me wants them all to disappear. No... all of me does.

Anyway... we broke up, and then like... a day later, I happened upon a new guy. Someone who I can actually talk to. Open up to without worrying what he'll think. I always thought I already did that, but I guess I was wrong. I suppose I can talk to him because we actually have some things in common. Even the most important thing in the world to me. *sigh* I like this guy. I reallyreally do.

Written at 9:30am today, posted now.

2008-04-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

It's the cruelest side of unfair when the man you love can't be there. When all your comfort in this life comes through phone calls made late at night. And should those phone calls cease to be, my only wish is that you'll come back to me.
But you're gone.
The way you'll always be gone.
The way you've always been gone.
And I'm left on my own to move on.
Isn't it hard to say goodbye while your silver star is busy falling from the sky?

Now that I'm thinking a little more clearly...

2008-04-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

I'm still pretty pissed. And with good reason, I mean... finally I had a person that I could tell anything to. I still can, but I know it won't be the same. It can't be, and it never will be. I've lost you twice, after all.

I really don't care how corny it is to include this in here, or who reads it and what they think of me because of it, but it's exactly how... well... I used to feel.

And this is how I'm feeling currently...

I still don't understand how never seeing someone you care about is better than only seeing them a little. But I suppose that's one of those questions that doesn't have an answer.

Laterz

Oh, it looks like Randy's stopped by for a visit...

2008-04-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

Come with me! I'm going for a walk!

2008-04-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

1)Oh look! I'm sitting at my usual perch, looking at the usual view. w00t.

2) This is the construction going on a few blocks from my house... beautiful day out today, no? lol

3)I'm standing in the middle of the road again... it's a disease, I tell ya. A DISEASE!

4)This is the impossible to cross street. Took like five minutes to find a break in the traffic. Losers.

5)This was my break halfway between home and Downtown. A big church with some steps to nowhere (that you can't see right there). I sat on the ledge that the short steps went up to and kicked my heels on the cement like a little kid does because my feet were about a foot off the ground. Then I MOVED ONWARD!

6)Sometimes I think Catholics are spoiled, I mean... just look at this monster. Quite the Cathedral. Below this is a photo of one of the nifty side entrances.

7)Turn the corner around the cathedral and WHOA I'm downtown!

8)My original plan when I got downtown was to go to Riverside Park and hang around for a while, but then... I saw the bridge and decided to take a closer look.

9)Ohhh... there's stairs right in front of me. this is WAYTOOTEMPTING.

One flight.

Two flights. Not high enough.

Three flights... getting warmer.

Four flights up is perfect for me!

Unfortunately this is where my walk ends because as I was walking up to the top of the bridge, I noticed my father driving under it and I gave him a call and he brought me home so I didn't have to walk. I'm OH SO GRATEFUL for that. :)

Thanks for coming with!

lalala

2008-04-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

There's a road a few blocks away from my house which has been completely torn up and is in the process of being redone. It's usually a very busy road, and impossible to cross with the exception of the crosswalk at the corner. There's a section of the road that's remained the same so that our street is still accessible from that direction, and sometimes I walk down there and just sit on a curb and watch the traffic and let the noise drown out my voice as I sing to myself. That's peace to me. But lately I haven't been able to do that because it's eerily quiet out there. No cars on such a typically overcrowded road.
So the other day I went for a walk, and I went and sat at my usual spot. The sun was starting to set and I figured I'd go find a better view. So I crossed that street and walked down near the hospital and leaned up against a metal rail to watch the sky, with a perfect view. Gorgeous sunset, BTW... Pastel pinks and oranges all over the place. But when it got a bit darker I went around a block and headed home. But when I reached the end of that street I had to go through a parking lot to get to a part of the main road that wasn't ripped up.
When I stepped out onto the sidewalk, I stopped and looked back. At that part of the road, you can see for quite a ways down, and all the way until it was out of sight, all there was was dirt where the road used to be. For some reason I can't explain I was saddened by that sight. Almost like I was seeing the past. Dirt roads. Thinking how simple it would have been... or maybe I was grieving for the people who worked so hard to put the road there before and thinking about how their work was going to be replaced by someone else's... but progress must be made.
I turned and started walking again, but instead of sticking to the sidewalk, I decided to be the lamest sort of rebel there is and walk right down the center of the street. JUST BECAUSE I COULD. Why is it that we feel so good doing that? You feel so powerful walking down the middle of the road, the way that a second grader feels rebellious walking down the left side of the hallway. It's just space. And it was put there for us to walk on even before it was paved. It also feels so foreign looking at everything from that view. Without a metal cage around you.
It was cool, what can I say? ;-)

Oh no, not the job interviews!

2008-03-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

YES the job interviews. That's pretty much the only thing I have going on at the moment. Let's see... a video store. Shopko. Best Buy. Subway. Those were this week, and I'm still not for certain about any of them. Let's see... if I were to pick the one that I actually wanted, I'd have to go between the video store and Shopko. Maybe those aren't the most economical choices, but they're both places that I think I'd actually enjoy working at. But who knows. Maybe the pattern will continue and I won't get either of them OR the ones I don't want as badly. *sigh* But WHERE is my usual optimistic attitude?! Being rejected for months does things to you.

SCOTT. Yes, you. Please don't contact me anymore. Not an IM, not an email, not a call or text message. Never. Again. Why? Because I said so.

Randy... before I hear what you have to say and it possibly changes the way I think...

Know that right here in this moment I'm in love with you.

Poetic Rambling: My Anti-Drug

2008-03-21T15:45:00.000-07:00

You'll never know how much you hurt me today. You'll never see the tears that fell, or hear the sobbing that fought its way out. The sniffing and sighing that YOU caused. YOU in all your perfection. YOU who I decided was safe and would never hurt me. Almost love always hurts, as the frenzy so wisely says. I wish you could feel the pins and needles in my muscles. An ache as if my eyes were pulling their tears from my fingers, from my legs. I have some people who could comfort me, but they're intangible. So I comfort myself in my own ways. Sometimes I question why I bother writing these things... what good can come of them. They'll confuse my friends, and the people who I write them about will probably, and hopefully, never see them anyway. But I do. It helps me feel better sometimes. And other times, it makes the pain almost unbearable, like wearing your wedding dress after being left at the altar. This pain, this hate, and this regret... I feel it for you. This hole in my chest has your bloody fingerprints all over it. Don't touch me.

A Dull Tune...

2008-03-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

Stoic, lifeless, watching yourself as you draw an unblinking eye that watches back at you, staring, as you can say nothing. Possibly saying the things that will frame the rest of your life. You don't make sense to yourself, so how can you help anyone else? You just say and pray. Pray they understand, that the God who loves them more than you will let them know it. You disagree with everything and yet you hope things will work out because you're afraid of hurting someone. Or everyone. Stoic, lifeless, as you make the dots and skip over the words, eventually not even caring about them. You listen intently, and hum a dull tune. You make mistakes and you learn from them. Stoic, lifeless, circling that dead eye with dark black rings, symbolic as they are, you ignore them until the fun is almost over. Then you make them darker.

This is my own brand of poetry, simply called Poetic Rambling.
Love it or hate it, it's real, and it's me. Now.

Things that I just don't understand, and some that I don't really want to:

2008-03-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

-What started the first wind.
-How almost every nation of people automatically perceived that there was a Higher Being out there somewhere.
-Hate.
-Love.
-How communication got so complicated.
-How I can really long for one thing, see it right in front of me, and yet be completely happy with something else............

Skip the poems and get to the information please.

2008-03-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

So I was reminded that I haven't written on here for a while by a kind gentleman who I like to refer to as my boyfriend. He's never heard me call him that before, but I figure he should know that that's what I consider him. He may be rolling his eyes right now like, "Duh, Crystal, I know that." But... I don't. I've never heard him refer to me as his girlfriend, so... how do I know how to judge that? And also, right now he may be thinking, "Typical. She'll write that in her blog, but she won't just ask me when we're on the phone or something." And yeah, I know, it's a little pathetic. But that's just me, I'm IMPOSSIBLE.
Let's see... where did I leave off? I didn't check before I started writing, which was a mistake. But I'm not feeling like breaking my delicate little chain of thought right here to copy what I'm writing and go check and then come back to this page. So where DID I leave off... There was the Heath Ledger thing, then something about music, and maybe something else since then, but I don't know what. Jamsbio? Maybe. Or maybe that's what I was writing about and then got distracted and didn't finish last time.
So I know my birthday has come and gone since the last time I wrote, since the last time I wrote was February 13th, and my birthday was the 22nd... What did I do for it? Well, I was down in K-town (Kenosha, WI) visiting some family and friends at the time, so I HAD to go see my best friend. And she HAD to go to Dairy Queen and get a frozen cake. It was one of those cake logs that's like a foot long and six inches wide and it was split between me, her, and her friend Marleen. YEAH that's a lot of cake. Of course, we didn't have enough brains between the three of us to figure that a frozen ice cream cake isn't going to go so well with plastic forks and knives, so we had to sit there and chisel at it for about twenty minutes until it thawed a little and we could actually dig in. But it was fun. *ponders* I miss my friends... *sniff*

Catching up.

2008-02-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

Gee... it's been a little while since I've written. Didn't even notice until yesterday, but then I've been ever-so-slightly busier than usual. Lots of job applications, lots of actually promising job opportunities. And then there's this site that I found which is paying people to sign up and write articles. I got accepted into that program, and so far it's pretty fun. I'd probably do it for free, lol... though I might take longer to write the entries.
Basically what this site is, is a website that's still in testing stages, so membership is almost by invite only, although you can request to sign up. But in it, you pick a song and then write a memory that you associate with that song. The whole concept of the site is "Life, remembered through music." Fun, fun, fun. (if this sounds like something you'd seriously be interested in, I'll give you the site. Just ask.)
NEXT
I got my dress for my best friend's wedding yesterday, and the bust is simply too big, so I'm going to have to go in someplace and have it taken in. Aside from that, and the fact that I feel like a Gothic bride in a black, poofy bridesmaid dress, it's pretty sweet. Then I called my friend and told her I got the dress and she started talking about how she was looking for land to buy so she and her fiance can build a house. I think she's gone a little crazy, but oh well, that's just how she is. :)
NEXT
Just a little aside-I predict that either Carla (the Irish girl) or Syesha (the African American girl whose voice gave out) will win the American Idol competition this year.

Cheers! I'll be back soon!

The Meaning of Life

2008-02-02T22:28:00.000-08:00

I love that feeling when you realize how God has been using your life to impact the lives of others... There's nothing that even compares to it. That there is a purpose for everything you do, and a plan for everything you haven't yet done. It's a moment when you truly realize the extent of God's grace and power. He has everything under control, even though it may not seem like it all the time. I'll admit there are times when I'll be watching, say, the news... and I'll forget all about God's divine plan and I'll get very depressed. Murder, Robbery, Deceit, Anger, Corruption of all kinds. Then I'll snap back and be just fine. I can't imagine living life not able to snap out of that depression. And it pains me to know that there are so many out there who aren't able to because they've forgotten how, or never knew how in the first place.

I wish so much that everyone knew Him. That everyone knew they could be happy. Truly happy with Christ in their life.

And I pray for everyone who reads this entry. That they'd understand that He'll never turn away anyone who asks for his forgiveness, no matter what they've done, if only their pride would let them.

Better... for now.

2008-01-26T13:22:00.000-08:00

I got to sing today for the first time in about two weeks... It was only twenty minutes, but it was enough to lift my mood above what it was yesterday, and definitely the day before. What did I sing? I sang Norah Jones, Pink, a little tiny Evanescence, Bonnie Raitt's Something to Talk About, and some Martina McBride. Quickly, mind you, because I knew my time was limited. It would have been alright if I could have sung sometime this week, even if just for five minutes, but my voice was totally out of sorts today because I didn't get to ease into it. My poor vocal chords.

Other musical topic. I was talking with a friend last night about those songs. You know, the songs that, when heard, make you stop and take a breath because you either have a fond memory attached to them, or because there's just something about the song that's so right. So perfectly synced with your soul. Like if your soul could make noise, that's what it would sound like.

Some of these songs for me:
Sting - Fields of Gold - This is my favorite song of all time. There's just something about the melody that's so simple and... me. If I ever get married I hope to base my wedding around it... "Fields of Gold" Have the song being played on piano as I walk down the aisle, in a white dress with gold embroidery and detail, with mostly gold decorations around, and during the reception have the normal version playing for the first dance... Yeah guys, girls think about this stuff their whole lives.
Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata - Dark, thought provoking, hypnotic. Very rare to hear it just at random someplace, in fact, I found it on Amazon while looking for... I don't even remember what. But I searched high and low for this song in every CD store I went to, and couldn't find it until I went to Walmart and just happened upon it in a cheap collection of classical songs. Oh yes. I bought it. I own it. It's mine.
Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper - Yeah, I know I'm definitely not the only one to get a strange but enjoyable feeling when this song comes on. I don't even have a memory to go with it. Just the ridiculously good harmonies, I think. Reaches deep into you and pulls out your fear of death and shows it to you, dripping, pulsating, and nearly nonexistent in me. As I've said before. Death is a whole different deal with me.
Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most - This one... does have a memory attached to it for me. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I remember the day after the before mentioned love interest of olde left to go back overseas, I heard this song for the first time and broke down. Full on, not able to breathe, eyes almost unable to cry because I'd already been doing a lot of that, on my bathroom floor doubled over breakdown. That's the image I get when I hear the song, because I identify with it to a supernatural degree. I felt that song. I felt it every day for more than a year.
UB40 - Can't Help Falling in Love - There's nothing wrong with Elvis's version of this classic, but there's just something about this guy's voice and the beat behind it that makes me think "pure emotion." Almost any song with a vocal harmony will do that to me. That's why I was so into choir. Still wish I was in one.

Yeah... there's more. But they're not as recognizable or easily explained as these are. So I think this is where I'll leave it.

I...

2008-01-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

I feel like there's something wrong with me. I'm really not my usual cheery self. Nobody who knows me would notice it. But I've already told one friend something that I've been doing and probably shouldn't. A stupid thing to do, but how do you stop something that's unstoppable? Especially when you have no motivation to stop it. No reason... No pro's, no con's. Just... It.
Am I depressed? Maybe. Do I have some kind of mental illness that's gone mostly undetected? Maybe. Am I a hypochondriac? Also possible. It's very unlikely that I'm saying this stuff for attention as well because I very seldom talk about it. Whatever it may be. This blog has seen more mental action than my closest friends and family. Whether I'll delete it someday because I don't want anyone to read about me anymore is undetermined. But if I'm concerned about that, shouldn't I do it now? And if I was really not writing about it for attention, why do it here, and not in some private writing program or personal diary?
I don't know. I don't fucking know. And I'm sick of not knowing, but what am I going to do? X-ray my mind and see the answers written out. Perfect Cursive. Dotted I's.

Good Grief

2008-01-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. EVERYBODY and their mother is writing about Heath Ledger and this, another Hollywood Tragedy. It's sad, he died "before" his time. Unfortunately,if he ever wanted everyone to grieve after his death, he's finding no grief in me. Few people know this, but I do not grieve for the dead. I believe that they're most likely happier wherever they are, since the vast majority of people go to heaven after death. There is only one thing that a person can do that would send them to Hell and it's something that very few people do. Therefore... I don't grieve.
Grieving doesn't make sense to me. Especially when Christians grieve over other Christians' deaths. Shouldn't they be celebrating? Wearing bright colors and giving high fives? I hope that's what they do after I die. I don't even want a funeral. Just a party with me, the deceased, attending. Whether in a box or a vase, I'm not sure yet.... But my memorial is going to be a happy occasion. :):):) Pirate themed? Yarr.

Tradition, Routine, Convention... when will you cease to be?

Oh, and don't think I'm talking like this to disrespect the guy, lol... I liked Heath... He was cute and funny and sweet and all that fun stuff...

Rest in peace and joy!

Oh, Today.

2008-01-17T23:30:00.000-08:00

Wow... what a depressing entry that was! lol... Whatever, I have my moments. Like today, OMG I hurt my back and I've been irate about it all day. Well, c'mon! It hurts! But anyway.

Other than the back... today was a good day, if uneventful. Unbelievably comfy time in bed this morning. Spent an hour just not wanting to move after I woke up. That's pretty typical, but usually it's just because I don't want to face people yet. :) Good time online, created a bit of doodlebug art. Mediocre, but whatever, I like it.

Good watching too... I was in bed suffering and decided to pop in The Lake House... oh my, how I cried. :( So sad, but happy, but sad, but happy. Ya know? Good movie. heh. Burgers for dinner... I have never beheld such goodness. But only because it was the first time I made my own burgers and they weren't burnt on the outside and alive on the inside.

On Thought

2008-01-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

I suppose I don't think like a normal person. When someone asks what I'm thinking I can't just outright say what I'm thinking. Is it because I don't think? Possibly. I've never thought that it was possible for a person to just... not think. I must be thinking to write this, right?
To describe the way that I think I'd say I think in conversations. Always describing what I'm doing at the current time to some person five-ten-sixty minutes from now. Why? Why? Why? Becaaaause... because I'm that preoccupied with what people think of me. Explaining my odd behavior to myself AS WELL AS someone else before they even inquire. What a tiring way to live.
What goes through my head when I'm asked a question? I'll ask myself a question. "What do you like to do?" (Note how open ended this question is. I can answer a closed ended question quickly: What's my favorite fruit? Pineapple. Yum.) So I was asked what I like to do. Right now, I'm mulling the question around, mainly wondering if they're asking about something specific. Then, for some reason, I start just repeating the question, like my brain has shut down, and it can't think of anything but the words in the question. I'm not even thinking of possible answers. Just repeating "What do I like to do? What do I like to do?" like a feeb. Then I start screaming at myself in my head. Wondering why I'm so messed up that I can't think of an answer to a simple question like that. Meanwhile, the person who asked is just sitting there, patiently waiting for me to say something.
That's when I think about the horrible inconvenience that I am, and how this person is probably regretting asking the question, regretting ever meeting me. Then I'm guilty. Incredibly guilty. The person repeats the question and this process begins all over again. Or I just blurt out something stupid. Some short little answer. "Draw. I like to draw." Then suddenly there's something else. "Why?" or "What else do you like to do?"

My poor, messed up brain just can't handle this. It can't think.

Now something that's interesting is when I'm around someone who likes to talk a lot. This is GREAT. I love being around people who like to talk because it gives my mind a break. All I have to do when they're talking is nod, or mumble "mhmm" and picture whatever they're talking about. That's plenty for my brain to do. Calming and low pressure. Then all of the sudden there's this pause. And my head says "uh oh." Without a doubt, they say "what are you thinking about?" or "what are you doing?"

AHHHH! I wasn't doing ANYTHING! I'm not thinking ANYTHING. Am I REALLY that dumb? Or is it even considered dumb to have your mind so into what they're saying that you don't have one independent thought? Isn't that what listening is? More than hearing. I suppose it becomes a problem when it interferes with your outside life, hm? It's been a problem my whole life. And how do you change something like that that's been around since you drew your first breath.

"Where's my mother? Where's my mother?"

Bitterness and Recovery

2008-01-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

How do I feel? Dark, angry, broken, lost, empty, alone, miserable, sick, obliterated as well as happy, elated, hopeful, overjoyed, loved, and perhaps even accepted. Accepted though unacceptable.
I keep being asked things about myself. How I feel, what I think, what I know and why I do the things that I do. There is a simple answer to those questions, and that answer is "I DON'T KNOW." Resounding. Is there some rule written in a book that everyone but me has read that says I must know what to say at all times? No. I know that answer. No there is no such book. No such rule.
Something that's complicated everything. I've mentioned him before to some people. I was in love once with someone who had no idea. Story of my life, right? Tons upon tons of one-sided crushes that never went anywhere because I was too fucking chicken to make them. Sure I've had feelings for many people. I love everyone I meet as well as everyone I hear of or even have a notion that they might exist or have existed. I love them all as if they were my brothers sisters mothers fathers or children.
But there was one who I was more than just attached to. I loved him. He was my friend, and I made a stupid mistake that anyone could make and I ruined the friendship and I still think about him all the time. Fuck, a few months ago I would have given anything to see him again. I still feel guilty for something I never even did. I wonder if he even figured out it wasn't me.
Regardless, all of that is over. For a while I just wanted to die, but now I've moved on. And it feels amazing.

Thank you, GOD for letting me feel amazing again. It's been too fucking long.

Amy Winehouse and Mountain Dew

2008-01-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

There is something about Amy Winehouse that is just so... attractive. No, I'm not a lesbian, lol. Just getting that out right now. But I love her presence and her appearance (even though the beehive hair and crazy eyeliner took my eyes some time to get used to) and then there's that voice. Maybe I admire her voice because it's incredibly different from mine. So deep and "soulful" as they call it... Similar to Joss Stone's voice, but more powerful and filled with more meaning. Call me mainstream or whatever, but I have to say my favorite song I've heard from her is "Back To Black." So dark. And no play on words intended.
You know what else I love? Mountain Dew. I love Mountain Dew. Liquid fun without the hangover is what it is. Unless of course, you're addicted to it and then go a few days without it, you get a headache from the caffeine withdrawal. But the taste is worth it. And every time I take a sip, I think *mmmm heart attack!*

Stricken.

2008-01-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

I've been talking to a guy online for a few months now, and on New Year's Eve, I had my first real date with him... Went out to dinner, then went to see some Christmas lights out by the park, and it was a fabulous time. Do I consider myself taken? Yes. As far as I'm concerned, I've been in a relationship for more than a month. It feels strange, because it's been longer than four years since the last one, and for a (nearly) twenty-year-old that's a big deal. I think, depending on the person, it could be a big deal for someone twice my age.
Now, the reason why this particular relationship is so meaningful to me is because even though I've had some before, I've kept them secret from everyone. The first one was because they were female, which I've since discovered is not something I want to do again, and the second was because of an age difference. I was 16, and he was 22. So this time, I've decided to be completely honest about what's happening with everyone around me. Keeping secrets takes too much effort, anyhow. There's also the fact that this time I have nothing to hide. Sure he's a bit older than me at 26, but that's what I consider to be the perfect age for someone I'm with, and he's intelligent and funny, and attractive, and sweet... I feel like the luckiest person in the world right now.

Nothing, nothing, then out of nothing came something.

Christmas Gifts

2007-12-29T11:00:00.000-08:00

What did I get for Christmas, you ask? Well... not much. The best thing I got was actually something I got a few weeks ago, but it counted as a Christmas gift. I got a coat. But not just any coat... The coat I asked for! It's a mid-length, black wool pea coat, and it fits perfectly, and it's so snuggly warm. I love my coat. My coat of one color. It was black and black and black and black and black. (Don't worry, only one out of five people will understand why I just did that.)

Five out of four people have problems with fractions.

So what about my personal life, you ask? My relationships?! How dare you go there! I'm not telling you. Yet.

Those crazy dreams.

2007-12-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

I had a rather abstract dream last night... One of the strangest I've had in years. I dreamed I was a purple octopus. And I married a blue fish against my will. And then I had babies, which were blue jellyfish. What could that dream possibly mean?! I'm big on dreams meaning something, but for this, I have nothing. If you have any ideas, please... leave a comment or send me an email or something. :)
Chocolate milk. Mmmmmm... such a simple pleasure. My brother went for a walk today, leaving me alone in the house ALL ALONE so I finally had time to sing as loudly and awesomely as I wanted. So I'm happy. Even though it hurt like Hell because of the tonsils and everything. But it was WORTH IT. There is nothing like the feeling of singing Evanescence really loudly. I need to get him out of the house more often.

Ouch.

2007-12-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

Last night I started noticing a strange pain in my throat, and as I fell asleep the pain grew and grew... And this morning when I woke up I looked in my little compact mirror and shined a flashlight down in my mouth and LO. Tonsillitis?! Thank you, WebMD.com for the diagnosis. I've never had problems with my tonsils before, and now I've suddenly got a horrible case of tonsillitis. Fabulous. I love it. So it hurts to talk, and it hurts to bend over, and it hurts to swallow and it hurts to pick things up because that strains the neck muscles... But it should go away in a few days.

Oh, and it hurts to smile too. :) Ow.

Anyone excited for the next season of American Idol?! I know I am, since I should have been on it, DAMMIT. So this season I get to see all the people I could've squashed (figuratively AND literally) in the competition. But there's next year. Probably.

I proposed to my brother earlier this month that we should record a Christmas album, or at least one Christmas song as a gift for our mumma. But he was feeling lazy this December. So we've put it off until next year, if ever.

My brother..... My brother makes music. If you're interested in hearing his awesome music go to his MySpace page. He also does web design and is sure he's going to be the next big thing in the online world. He has the ambition, but lacks follow-through.

I'll come back to you. I promise.
<3

My Goodness!

2007-12-19T14:59:00.000-08:00

Wow... Months of nothing. Let me tell you, the best way to make your life go slower is to NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL. It's not like I want this, but it's just kind of... happened. I've been sitting on this computer day in and day out for... Almost six months. I've filled out job applications, but nobody seems to want to hire me. I can't figure it out! I'm about to go out of my mind.

So what have I been doing with my time online other than filling out applications? I've been talking to strangers! Yes! I love talking to strangers and hearing about their lives. Their lives are almost invariably more interesting than mine. Not that I'm complaining or anything. ;-)

I've been doodling. This website that I go to called DoodleBug is absolutely genius. I recommend you check it out. Basically you draw things online and people rate them. Sometimes fairly, and sometimes not. I've started visiting it less and less because there were a lot of people voting unfairly on my later doodles and I decided I'd move on to more interesting things.

So the big thing that I've been up to is this thing, MyYearbook which is absolutely amazing. You join and enter a bunch of information about yourself. Very similarly to MySpace. But once you gain a few friends you gain popularity, and I'm not talking about "page hits" here. I'm talking about your LABEL. Where you fit in with everyone else. This website, I've come to realize, is a very good simulation of what happens when your in high school. There are people of all types there, like the jocks who all band together, the music kids, and the rockers. Then there are the cool kids. You can recognize them usually, because you'll see a person with a name like "//MOBB\\Jerry{S.S}Matchfield[GrG]*Stunna*(Add-Me)" Which is sort of like they're wearing name brand tee shirts, but it's actually the groups that they belong to.
The latest website that I've begun to get involved with is Sodahead which is a site for polls and opinions. If you have an opinion on something, there is a poll for it. And even if they don't have one for your topic, you can make one very easily...

Oh, and I hate Facebook. I have an account there, but I very rarely use it. Not because of the recent scandal about Amazon (Because I don't shop online. If it weren't for shopping, I'd never leave the house.), but because of the recent activity feed. There is no privacy. You add one person to your list of contacts and EVERYONE knows it. Yeah... I like a little tiny shred of privacy from time to time. Although I have to say their email system is TOPS. I love that about it...

Rest assured. I'll be back. <3

Another Post

2007-06-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

H e y !
Today was boring... at least so far. Mom's taking my cousin home who stayed the night and my brother's watching Southpark. Funny show, that is. I don't mean to bore you, I swear.

FIRST POST EVER!

2007-06-22T22:23:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm Crystal and I have a blog now. I finally feel like I belong in my own generation! But now, to keep up with it...

I just moved to the LaCrosse area a while ago after spending my whole life in the southeast corner of the state (Wisconsin). I am job searching and hope to further my education soon.

This has been my FIRST POST EVER!